Jan 28, 2008
Your Honor, in the case of Chico the dog versus Possum, I would like to present the facts of the case as we understand them.
The defendant, Chico, as shown in exhibit A, pleads not guilty by means of temporary insanity brought on by a natural urge and instinct. Here, your honor, is exhibit A:
I'd like to begin with exhibit B, the location of the incident.
The family was assembled by the pool for a BBQ with a couple friends when Chico began to stare, rather intently, into the bushes by the pool house. In an action reminiscent of the time he bounded across the yard and tried to consume a baby rabbit whole and without chewing, he jumped into the bushes and started munching voraciously on something.
Due to the time of night, approximately 10PM, there wasn't sufficient light to immediately identify exactly whom had been the victim of this attack. Immediately the family jumped to the conclusion that it had been one of the neighbors cats and they started to feel ill at the prospect of having to explain to the neighbors (in Spanish) that their dog had killed the neighbor's cat.
Upon closer inspection, it appeared that the victim was not, indeed, a cat, but rather a zarigueya, or possum (also known, I believe, as a laquache). After many sighs of relief that it was not one of the family's favorite feline friends, conversation ensued on what should be done on the part of the possom to either heal him or hasten his death.
After reviewing the possum throughly with a flashlight, it was determined that the possum might be ok with the exception of a little bite mark on its forehead. The family decided to give the possum a little privacy, so he could compose himself, and to address the possum situation in 1/2 an hour, once they were able to see if he was able to move.
After about 2 minutes of privacy, the frightened possum gathered himself together and managed to run off, therefore answering the family's question as to whether or not his back had been broken. It appeared that aside from a bite mark on his head, the possum had escaped unscathed.
The defendant was then relegated to the apartment where he was isolated from the fun of the family BBQ for fear that he might actually catch one of the neighbor's cats.
We feel that his punishment has been sufficient for his crime, as evidenced by the remorseful cries we heard coming from the apartment and are requesting that he be allowed to attend further BBQs with more vigilance on the part of his chaperons, who promise to keep him on a leash at future BBQs and to monitor his behavior.
The defendant shows a clear ability to coexist with furry friends of the feline persuasion as evidenced by exhibit C, a photo of the defendant and his former roommate, Sandy.
When questioned about Chico's nature, Sandy offered this statement: "Meow."